Urban Dictionary for business terms

In chatting with folks from engineers to analysts, I've realized not all business terms are widely known, and so I've made an Urban Dictionary for a few common concepts below.

Impressions

An internet ad that has made first contact, but did not penetrate the attention bubble. For example, when I buy a television on Amazon, suddenly the internet gets the impression that that it's the start of a collection of 55" flat screen TVs.

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CAGR 

Not to be confused with a kegger. During my MBA, I was very confused when I showed up for the Delta Sigma Pi party. 

CAGR stands for compound annual growth rate, i.e. the smoothed, average rate of growth over several years (like a bikini line after waxing). 

CAC (Sponsored by Blue Apron)

Customer acquisition cost. This is how much you're willing to bribe someone to try your product. Think all those Blue Apron coupons you get in the mail, basically paying you to try it. 

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ARPU

Did the bribes work? How much is each sucker customer spending? That amount is your average revenue per user.

VC Discount

The VC Discount is the amount of venture capital money a consumer burns through by happily accepting all the CAC offers without becoming a loyal customer. This is calculated as follows:

For example, you may buy a $10 per month MoviePass to buy one $15 movie ticket per month. With no theater subsidy, that's a 33% savings (1 - 10÷15)!

Deliverable

No, it's not a pizza. A deliverable is a thing that your client or manager swears to you, in a contract signed in blood, is precisely what they want and is *very important*. You then work on the project for weeks or months, countering with your own blood, sweat, and tears. Maybe you even miss a couple of your kid's baseball games. And as soon as you deliver it, they smile and nod, and when you leave, they put it in a drawer, never to be spoken of again.

 

Introducing Index Card Book Summaries

90% Unnecessary

Most avid readers of self improvement and business books will have noticed a common thread among all of them: they are overly padded. Watch the TED talk or listen to a podcast cameo by the author, and you'll have absorbed 90% of the book content already. Naturally the anecdotes, statistics, and gritty details give more color and life to the author's premises that support learning styles of every type. But for folks with limited time and considerable ground they'd like to cover in the practical learning department, I think an index card summary would suffice.

Why an Index Card?

Of course I am not the first to make the observation that authors add some cushion to their content in their endeavor to build a brand, substantiate a product, and look good on a shelf next to other books. Harold Pollack first made this now widely accepted observation about personal finance books in a now famed article. Of course his followers asked "Where's the index card?" He replied with a photo of a handwritten index card summarizing all the key personal finance principles, which went viral. And, of course, his summary was soon padded out into a book: The Index Card: Why Personal Finance Doesn't Have to Be Complicated

 

Get ready to get to the punch line

In an effort to conveniently aggregate the latest wisdom and research for navigating our offices and lives, I am initiating a new series: the Index Card Book Summaries. As I continue to read these books that I think shouldn't be books, I'll share the pithy version of the key findings with you. Happy not reading!